The Last Star in Space
by VoiDreamer
Summary: The Reaper War is over, and with peace across the galaxy Shepard and Garrus finally raise the family they have always dreamed of having. But when their youngest daughter leaves to confront an old enemy it will take faces old and new to bring her safely home. A look into the life and unconventional romance of Jane Shepard-Vakarian. Fem!Shep/Kaiden Romance
1. A Starting Point

AN: So here it is, the little spin-off of the romance that was Nora Shep and Garrus just in time for the New Year!

This short fic will be following their youngest daughter Jane, and is going to be more a collection of events than full-fledged story a la Vulnerability or Space Between. I'm totally open to suggestions and would love to get some feedback/ ideas for future chapters.

Let me know what you think! Happy New Year - and as always, I own nothing you recognize!

Best Wishes,

~Voi

* * *

"I wasn't expecting this in the slightest… that's why I called you, Mom."

Jane Shepard-Vakarian took another sip of her coffee as she settled herself at her desk, willing the high levels of caffeine to do what three hours of sleep could not. Having just gotten off a 36 hour shift at the Alliance Hospital the need for some rest had of the utmost importance. However, a message from Alliance Command had come in just as she had made it home, and whether it meant to or not, its contents left her incapable of a truly restful sleep. She had contacted her family an hour later when it became apparent that sleep was entirely out of reach.

"Did you find out how they got your name?"

Her mother, Nora Shepard-Vakarian, may have been hero of the galaxy, but to Jane she had always been just 'mom.' Watching as her mother's lips twist into a frown, Jane couldn't help but wish she had pursued a career closer to home. Nora had always been so warm; it was hard seeing her face without being able to curl next to her on the couch as had been their custom.

Sighing, the younger woman ran her fingers through her pixie-short hair, "No, and it doesn't even make sense. I've never applied for the program and I'm a _medic _not a soldier…who's ever heard of grooming a doctor for an N7 designation?"

On the screen her mother frowned more deeply, fingers stippled together, "I don't know, sweetheart. But I'll have Liara look into it, she's always offering so maybe…"

"She'll love that." Jane couldn't help but smile ever so slightly. Liara had been one of her favorite aunts as a child, but she had seen glimpses of the very ruthless woman who was one of her parents' best friends. The Shepard-Vakarian clan had more than their share of dangerous, dedicated protectors.

"In the meantime I'll report to headquarters, see if I can't find out more." Jane took another sip of her drink as she leaned back in her chair, "I don't like it though. My files should be private."

"N7 training is optional." Nora pointed out to her daughter, "You don't need to do anything if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I know." Jane smiled again, "But if someone thinks that this little doctor is capable of kicking butt, then it's worth a shot, right?"

On the screen, Nora's lips twitch into a smug smile, "You really are your father's daughter, Jane; stubborn to the end."

From just beyond the comm's line of sight the voice of one Garrus Shepard-Vakarian protested, "_Hey_…I heard that."

"You know she's right, Dad." Jane grinned when her father did eventually appear, "I've always been 'Daddy's little girl.'"

"Yeah, well don't let Nakala hear you." Garrus warned with a teasing smile, "She's my 'little girl' too – no matter how old she tries to act."

Nakala was Jane's older sister, a Krogan of rather exceptional temperament and martial skill; she was twenty four going on a hundred. Jane couldn't remember the last time Nakala hadn't groused like an old woman. It was some measure of relief that her long-term boyfriend, Urdnot Mordin, was a complimentary sort of male; sweet and youthful, he managed to remind her sister that she was not into her matron years quite yet.

"Speaking of Nakala, how's she doing? Latius is good about keeping me up-to-date," Jane mentioned her older brother with a smile, "But I haven't heard from _her_ for nearly a month."

"Oh she's causing all sorts of trouble, of course." Nora sighed as she spoke of her oldest, "Bakara is very pleased with the progress she is making but Wrex seems to think she has what it takes to kill a Thresher Maw for her initiation next month."

There was no missing the way her mother paled at the thought. Jane had never quite managed to pull the entire retelling of the Akuze mission from her mother, but perhaps it was best that she never did. Watching as her father gently massaged the tension out of Nora's shoulders it was clear that the story itself was not one her mother relived with ease.

And so, steering the conversation away from the past and into the present, Jane managed to catch up on recent family events including the promotion of her older brother to lieutenant.

Latius Shepard-Vakarian had been in the military since age 16, as was standard for all turian youths. More like his mother, Latius had excelled in the tension of close combat and while he was unusual in that he had biotic capability, his position in one of the premier turian cabals had proved him an excellent soldier.

As a child he had been the foil to Jane's more outgoing sweetness, the overly-protective shadow that followed her through childhood and guarded her against the trials of being the youngest. When he had left for training Jane had been devastated. It was only upon her parent's introduction of the comm system that Jane had managed to deal with the change.

It was nice to hear that her brother had found his place, a position to which he was both suited and gave him happiness. Jane made a mental note to contact him in the near future to catch up.

"Jane?"

The conversation with her parents was winding down, but it seemed her mother had a final question.

Jane paused, hand hovering over the disconnect button, "Yes, mom?"

"Keep any eye out for Kaiden, while you're around headquarters?" Nora didn't often make a request of her daughter, but this had been a concern for a while. She didn't have to reiterate her reasons; Jane knew them well enough on her own.

Kaiden Alenko, a family friend, had helped her with her unstable biotic abilities since they had manifested as a child. A kind and patient man, he had been at his happiest those many years passed, and in her memories Jane couldn't remember a time when he had failed to smile. But that had all changed.

Nearly five years ago he had been robbed of that happiness when his asari partner, Rayna T'soni, had been murdered in a raider attack on her home colony. After all the devastation of the Reaper War, Rayna's death had been the final straw, and Kaiden was rendered inconsolable. Throwing himself into the Alliance with unmatched fervor, he had accepted ever more dangerous missions and had not been seen by friends since the day of Rayna's funeral. Liara had managed to track him back to a small apartment in Vancouver, but Jane's periodic trips to the flat had borne little fruit. The flat itself was bare, and it seemed unlikely that Kaiden spent any measurable amount of time there.

"You know I'll do my best, Mom. Talk to you later."

Jane found herself seated across from the Director of Oversight for the N7 program less than five hours later at what would otherwise be an obscene hour.

"It's my understanding that I've been selected for the N7 training program?"

Dressed in her standard medic uniform, Jane took comfort in the familiarity of the fit, in the way the material followed her body. It was a small thing, this comfort, but it gave her the foundation and confidence to seek the answers she needed.

"That's correct, Ms. Shepard. And-"

"Shepard-Vakarian." Jane corrected automatically, "Jane Shepard-Vakarian."

"Ah…my apologies," The man amended himself, "Ms. Shepard-Vakarian."

"Your candidacy was brought to our attention because the last of your performance exams came in, and the nature of your results was high enough to flag our system."

"I'm a _doctor _not a soldier, Mr. Tremmel." Jane eyed the read out of her exam results, "My tests were just part of the standard Alliance application."

"That may well be true," the director readily agreed, "But your results are…impressive. It's been a very long time since anyone has scored as high all-around. Not even your-"

Jane had a lifetime of comparisons to know where the conversation was going, "I am _not_ my mother, sir, so let's not bring her up."

She had the finesse and strength of character that even her most mild suggestion was met with quick acquiescence.

"Y-yes, of course." The director shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "It's just…there is a situation in which we believed you would be uniquely suited."

Jane remained an impassive observer as the man continued, eyes flickering back to the screen as it presented a picture of an old frigate-class ship. Battered, the ship had clearly once been of military stock, but the bright symbols painted to the exterior suggested that that period had since passed.

"This is the SSV Titian, a carrier class ship; it was decommissioned nearly twenty-odd years ago. As you can imagine, the ship fell into the wrong hands on its way to full retirement – it belongs to a terrorist cell now."

Eyeing the very particular paint job Jane leaned ever so slightly forward, "Any terrorist group or one in particular?"

"The Tenth Street Reds are the one's currently calling it home." Tremmel admitted, "The Reaper War really cut their numbers, but they've been growing in recent years."

"You're worried they're getting too strong?"

"Not worried. We know for a fact they are – they need to be dealt with. Up until two weeks ago this ship had remained in Earth's orbit, but they've recently moved out of the system and towards the fringes of council space. We're worried they're up to something."

"Wouldn't someone more seasoned be a more appropriate choice? The matter seems fit for a veteran of espionage. Again, I am a _doctor, _Mr. Tremmel."

"It is precisely because you _are _a doctor, one with other particular talents that we asked you here. We received intel not four days ago that this terrorist cell is on the lookout for a new physician and they mean to find one in the Terminus systems, specifically Omega."

Pausing a moment to allow his information to sink in, Director Tremmel eyed her meaningfully; "They're looking for someone with a specialization in biotic systems. We had sent an agent to Omega nearly a week ago, but it's not clear he can be relied on anymore. It's become more…personal for him than we anticipated and he failed to check-in two days ago. He's never done this before, and it's making the Admirals anxious."

"We _can't _have an incident right now. Most worlds are still recovering, and the galaxy has never been as unified as it is now. The Alliance wants to safeguard this peace for as long as we can."

Jane's hands tighten in her lap. This mission was not what she expected, nor was it something she had ever truly trained for. By rights she should refuse, it was the smarter choice. But because she truly was the daughter of _both _Nora Shepard and Garrus Vakarian there was no way she was going to turn down the opportunity to help where she was needed most.

"Alright. I'll do it."

Mind made up, she found herself relaxing almost immediately, accepting her mission in its entirety. There will be little time to plan, and perhaps even less time to execute it, but she _knows _she could do this. The briefing that follows only confirms this for her.

Standing, Jane nearly makes it to the door before the question strikes her.

"If you don't mind me asking, before I go…who is the agent? The one you lost contact with."

The director never responded, just tapped the button on his desk and let the image do what words never could.

It had been close to three years since she had seen him, and the picture revealed just how unkind those years had been. There were new scars, he was more angular than she remembered and she didn't recognize the look in his eyes. But the man _under _those scars, she knew.

"Kaiden…"


	2. Bar Side Meeting

AN: So here's the second chapter! I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their comments and, perhaps most interestingly, for their concern. Several of you wrote me asking for clarification on Kaiden's age and expressing concern about what is a near 30 year age difference. That is OK! Actually, I love that there is such worry - because age really is the central issue of this fic.

How important is age to a couple? Shepard and Garrus had a relationship marked by difficulties because of their different species...Jane and Kaiden will find that being human doesn't mean the road to a proper relationship will be any easier.

PLEASE, continue to write me with your concerns, I am always willing to talk about it - and I'd love to get some feedback. Also, if you have suggestions or things you'd like to see more of I'd be happy to oblige. My job with this fic is to show the evolution of a relationship, with all of it's difficulties. I hope we're all up for it :)

Thank you all for your interest - and if ever you decide you cannot read any more, then I bid you happy reading elsewhere.

As always, I own nothing you recognize (the characters, planets, etc. belong to Bioware).

~Voi

* * *

He doesn't know how long he's been there, a few days, maybe weeks. Not more than a month, he figures, at least not yet.

Kaiden knows he's never liked crowds, always felt on edge surrounded by people he didn't know, people he couldn't trust. And yet, he found himself on Omega easily enough, wandering the gritty cramped corridors, sliding between the ever-fluctuating population made of half-bit mercenaries and kingpins.

He's been frequenting this bar more often then he'd like, but where else is there information so readily available? Everyone talks with enough alcohol; even the most loyal mob grunt will spill just about anything with proper application of spirits. And he _needs _information enough to deal with the constant pounding music, the too-loud patrons and moody bartenders.

But today's been a bad day, a bad _night,_ and there are the crowds again, annoying even though his head is buzzing oh-so-faintly from the drinks he's been imbibing with increasing regularity.

"Hey there sweet thing, buy a girl a drink?"

It's not the first time a woman's come on to him, but it's been long enough that he doesn't reject her outright. The hand on his arm is small, feminine; it takes him a moment to realize it's human despite the brilliant red and blue lights that dance across it. And though he knows better, there's no helping the way his eyes slowly travel from fingertips, up her arm to the exposed crest of her shoulder, the smooth curve of her neck and the curls at her temples.

And when, at last, he finally focuses on her face, there is an awful second of silence as he realizes that he _knows _this girl, he's helped _raise _this girl.

"_Janeway?" _

He all but chokes on his beer as he says her name, his mind frantically grasping for answers in a way that, for a moment at least, leaves him startlingly aware of the present. And though he had thought _girl, _his mind is quick enough to remind him that he called her a _woman _many times in the past.

"You know Kaiden…you're _still_ the only one to call me that." There's a grin on her lips, a sharp glint in her eye as she cocks her head in a mockingly coquettish pose, "Even my _parents _call me 'Jane.'"

"What are you _doing _here?"

It's a struggle not to look around, to act calm though his thoughts are racing a mile a minute. But the woman in front of him seems the very epitome of calm, her body relaxed. Indeed, she seems almost flirtatious as runs a hand along the side of his neck, down the front of his shirt until she reaches her shirt pocket and plucks the badge from its cloth confines.

"Would you believe me if I said there's a medical conference here?" Jane grins at she examines her trophy, eying the man over the card's crisp edge, "Then again…isn't that the same conference you're going to? Dr.-" She looks again at the badge and raises one elegant eyebrow, "-Allen? Dr. Kaiden Allen."

She exhales slowly as she sizes him up, notices the hundred small changes in the man she's known for nearly her whole life. He's older now, worn around the edges by time and a string of unfortunate events.

"What's that phrase again? The best lies are often tied in truths."

Her comment is more like the woman knew before he disappeared, there's a seriousness, a sharpness that has nothing to do with this flirt who introduced herself at the bar. And perhaps this is the only hint she can give him, the only way she can clue him into the game she is playing.

Behind her he can see the glances from a dozen different men, and wonders how deliberate she's been with her coquettish comments, how careful she's been to reveal nothing of the _real _truth in this meeting.

And so he plays the game with her as they sit together, fighting his memories of this woman as a child and forcing himself to act as if seeing her acting so adult doesn't completely shake him. She looks more like her mother now though, she's certainly taller than Commander Nora Shepard could ever hope to be. Their attitudes are similar too, Janeway's flirtatious grin a sharper, sexier, version of her mother's trademark soft smile but familiar nonetheless.

And that, Kaiden realizes is the real difference. Where Nora strove for honesty, sometimes without success, Janeway played the part of unrepentant chameleon. Thinking back to the days spent with the Shepard-Vakarian family on Nevos, he supposed he should have expected it. Janeway had always had a flare for roles, for play-acting, and being anyone from admiral to asari researcher.

Feeling her hand on his leg, Kaiden jerks and looks the young woman in the eye and still can't quite believe she's seated across from him.

"I'm surprised they let you in the bar." The words are out of his mouth before he realizes he's spoken.

"This is _Omega,_" Jane says with a quirked smile, "Why? Do I look old enough to be your kid?"

The comment is enough to make his choke on his drink again, because it's too close to the truth for his liking. And though he sends her a mutinous look as he tried to regain use of his lungs, she merely grins all the wider as she takes one very decadent sip of wine. Batarian shard wine, Kaiden doesn't know how she's managed to stay sober for so long.

Then again, as she runs one heel-clad foot against his leg, maybe the wine has done its work already.

"Why don't we go to your place, hmm, handsome?" Her lips are curved into that teasing grin, her eyes dark with promise as she looks at him from under heavy lashes. Hand straying to brush his jaw, she leans close enough to whisper in his ear, "What do you say?"

And as he leads her away from the bar, there is not a doubt in his mind that Janeway has fooled their audience, he's just damn near scared she's fooled him too.

The moment they find themselves in the privacy of his room, Jane drops all pretense of flirtation, leaning against the door with a deep sigh, her eyes closing in pain as she slips her heels off. The change is subtle, but she doesn't whine quite the way she had at the bar, her voice dropping in register as she relaxes back into herself.

"Remind me that I'm incapable of acting the flirtatious airhead for more than a few hours." Her voice is rough from use, she inhales ever more deeply to try and clear her throat, "And I can't walk in heels…remind me not to walk in heels."

And once again Kaiden finds himself at a loss, finding her shift from seductive femme fatal to casual, _familiar_ Janeway Shepard-Vakarian entirely jarring.

She cracks open an eye to look at him when she doesn't get a response, "You still here, Kaiden?"

And it's a tense, painful moment that follows, filled with all sorts of questions and the awareness that not all of them will be answered.

"Yeah, I'm here."

He's sitting on the edge of the couch, hands braced at his sides, his dark eyes glittering in the darkness. "Want to tell me just why the hell _you're_ here, Janeway?"

She pulls his ID card from her garter, ignoring the daring cut of her dress as she snatches the single most important piece she has in explaining her situation. And though he's been surrounded by enough of Omega's brand of sex appeal Kaiden find his eyes lingering a moment longer than he'd like. The realization makes him uncomfortable.

"You were supposed to check in with the Brass nearly a week ago, Kaiden." Her expression is serene, but her eyes are steel blue and uncompromising as she looks him in the eye.

"So they sent you." It's not a question, but Kaiden sounds more than a little disbelieving, "What's it going to be? Medicate me and bring me back home."

There's a beat of silence before the woman sighs, passing a hand through her hair.

"I can't say the idea never occurred to me." Jane responds with a frown, but seems completely honest in her response, "Still I wasn't about to drug you in a place like _this_."

And because she didn't like the way he continues to look at her, Jane straightens to her full height, dress rippling around her as she moved across the room.

"I may not be a soldier, but neither am I child," Jane looked at him, _really _looked at him and dared him to say otherwise. "The Alliance needs this done, and they sent _me. _You can either choose to help me, and we do this together without getting killed."

"Otherwise," Jane takes another step closer, close enough to feel the warmth of his breath as she leans over and presses a small hand to his chest, over his heart, "I'll send you somewhere nice, and once _there _I'll stick you with the nicest little compound that you'll sleep through the next week. Then we can both get out of this alive."

"Threatening me?" Kaiden's voice is low, raspy and dangerous.

"I'm a _doctor_." Jane says as if that's answer enough "I don't make threats, I just prescribe solutions."

"Then you're abusing your position," Kaiden snaps, "_I _was sent on this mission, not you."

"They sent me _after you _when you failed to check-in." Jane scowled at him, "That makes _me _mission leader."

And because she can't stand to let his accusation hang there, Jane stabs him with her finger this time, "Don't talk to me about _abuse _Kaiden. Not when you've been doing it to every single person who cares about you. My whole damn family, your _mother _and Liara have been trying to find you for the better part of five years. And it _hurt _when you didn't care enough to tell any of us where you were."

"You saw me not three years ago, Janeway." His voice is steady, in control as he looks up at her, "Or didn't you tell them about that?"

She goes still, instantly freezes as he mentions it.

"_Don't."_

She shakes her head, looking notable more pale than before. The hand that had poked him only moments before now lays open upon his chest once more.

"You didn't, did you?"

There's something in the dark rumble of his voice that has her glancing at his lips for a second, has her cheeks flushing. And as he slowly straightens, there is a smoldering darkness in his eyes that forces her back a step.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that," Jane's tone is different; stripped of confidence, she looks at him with wounded eyes, "_Don't_ do this, Kaiden."

"Was it so easy for you to wipe it from your memory?" Kaiden wants to know, moving until he's backed her against the edge of the small kitchen table, "Because it sure as hell didn't work that way with me."

"It _had _to be that easy," Jane looks furiously at him, her eyes flashing in anger and something else that neither one wants to mention, "You said it yourself. It _shouldn't _have happened. And for all intents and purposes it _never _did."

Bracing her other hand against him, Jane looks him in the eye, "We have a _mission_ to do, an _important _one. I don't care what happened between us before, but if you can't deal with it then I _will _do what I have to."

And before the anger drives her to punch him, she jerks herself away from the table, away from _him_. But she still has his attention and so she explains herself slowly, turning until he can see how serious she is, how unforgiving she will be in this, her mission.

"I don't care if you have a death wish, but you're not going to die on my watch. So you deal with it, follow my rules, and get this mission done… or I can make the call now and you'll be on the next shuttle out of here."

Kaiden doesn't respond either way, merely watches her with those dark eyes as she moves around the apartment gathering her things. Arms crossed, he simmers in an anger equal to her own, his guilt near stifling as he tries not to think about when they had last met. Three years was a long time, but it seemed perhaps not enough.

"I'll see you in the morning. Meet me at ten, outside of Len's Diner."

And then she's gone, lost amidst the chaos of Omega's streets, leaving Kaiden to wonder just how they are both going to survive what stands against them when so much lays unsaid between them.


	3. Sounds of the Mundane

AN: Hello all, here is the third chapter of this little foray into the life of Jane. As you can tell, chapters will be added at the top of every week and while I don't know how long the whole fic will be yet, its looking to be in excess of at least 10 chapters.

Also, for those of you interested in the life/story of Jane's parents - Nora Shepard & Garrus - Kindly turn your attention to the collection of fics titled _Vulnerability, Space Between_ and_ The Promise_. These all deal with their relationship over the course of the series, and you can read them if you so choose.

Best wishes to you all - thanks once more for your feedback and constructive messages, they are super helpful and appreciated!

As always, I own nothing you recognize (the characters, planets, etc. belong to Bioware).

~Voi

* * *

They've been undercover for the better part of four months before Jane has anything worth reporting to the Alliance. But having information and being able to send messages are two distinct and separate actions, the latter being near impossible on a ship that seems constantly on the edge of insanity. Security clearances and passcodes change daily, and the messages that are allowed out are heavily screened. Ironically, Jane has had to leave Alliance communication to Kaidan who, in his med-tech position, is allowed greater freedom in off-ship messaging.

"Hey there, doc. got anything for a hangover?"

Eyeing the unshaved, blue and orange haired gang member Jane suppresses a sigh and heads towards the small cabinet where the medication waits. Her use as a doctor has been minimal thus far, the most serious injury to come to her a cut hand due to dangerous ship repairs.

There's been almost no contact with the much talked-about gang leader except for the initial meeting when she and Kaidan first arrived. Their introduction as doctor and tech assistant had maneuvered them into a position to greet the leadership but little else.

The meeting itself was more baffling than informational and Jane had found their target characterized by every trait _other_ than what one might expect from a gang leader. Delicate and fine boned, the woman everyone lived in fear of, _The Lady_ as she was referred to by members, was the epitome of refinement from the very top of her well-coiffed hair to the tips of her manicured toes. She had even worn a pair of the most precarious heels Jane had ever seen, never mind the altogether too feminine dress. It made Jane wonder just what the 'Lady' was hiding behind that all too innocent guise.

"So…you and that tech..."

Jane blinks back to reality just in time to see her patient, Caine, giving her a not so subtle grin, "Something going on there, doc?"

Feinting a casualness that she didn't quite feel, Jane shrugged; "No…" she didn't bother lying, the truth was likely more useful at this point, "…I'm not exactly sure."

"Yeah, I get that," The man beside her snorted as he eased himself onto the examination table, "It's usually better that way."

Amused, Jane tapped the syringe before neatly pressing it into her patient's forearm.

"Speaking from experience?" She queried, finishing up the first injection and swabbing the extra blood away.

"Hmm? Oh yeah." The man nodded, "I don't know how much experience you have with ship-life, doc, but it's better to just take what you can whenever you can, shore-leave is usually best. No strings, no commitments."

"Considering that the 'tech and I are on the same ship, wouldn't you say that a fling would be less than smart?"

The syringe makes a small beep as it finishes dispensing a second shot.

"I said _whenever, _doc._ especially _if you have a man as fine as that one hanging around."

Smiling at the idea, Jane tilted her head, "You know, Caine, _you _are more than welcome to give him a try, if you want. Kaidan and I aren't exactly in a committed relationship of any kind."

Slowly getting to his feet, the young man grinned but responded instead with a wink, "You wouldn't be saying that if you saw how he looks at you."

And because Jane can't honesty remember ever catching Kaidan looking at her, she lets the comment go unanswered. Wondering silently as Caine leaves the med bay.

Several hours and more than a dozen patients later, Jane has come to realization that she's treating the results of a late night party.

"You too, Lorna?" Jane tries but can't quite wipe the smile off her face the near exasperation reminding her too much of how it was back home on Nevos. The woman is part of the tech division, and Jane has seen her more than once when visiting Kaidan during work hours.

"I take it you've been busy with us party-ers?" The brown-eyed engineer smiles brightly despite the headache she claims to be having. "Not exactly subtle about it I bet."

"It feels like I've seen the whole crew in here today," Jane agrees, filling yet another syringe of pain medication.

"You know doc, you're always welcome to show up."

"Oh I don't know about that," Jane smiled as she swabbed the woman's arm, "I haven't exactly had much experience with parties."

"And you don't really need to leave your room to have a good time, hmm?" Lorna gave her a knowing grin.

"Is it just me or does the crew talk about me _far _too often?" Jane kept her tone light, playful even, but she knew that the additional attention was more than a little problematic for her cover. Swiftly inserting the needle and administering the medication, Jane played to her all too real feelings of confusion on the topic. "I thought personal life stayed private."

"Clearly you've never spent any major time on a ship, there is _no _such thing as privacy." Lorna smiled in amusement, settling in to Jane's office, "Besides; it's kind of hard to miss what's going on with you and the tech. The room gets at least five degrees warmer whenever the two of you are in there together."

"It does _not_-" Feeling suddenly like a teenager again, Jane couldn't help the awkward blush that made her cheeks burn, "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you."

"What's not to believe?" Lorna grinned, "You're a woman, and Kaidan is a _really fine _looking man. The fact that we all talk about it is just standard ship living."

"Kaidan is old enough to be my father." It's a real enough concern for most women, though Jane isn't truly sure if it's one of hers.

Clearly Lorna doesn't care either, her dismissive snort cutting the air just a moment before the beep of the syringe echoes in the room.

"If ever there's been a living, _breathing, _embodiment of 'silver fox' then I'd say your tech is it."

"Kaidan and I aren't even a _couple _so what's there to talk about?"

"Oh you know…" Lorna swung her legs slowly off the exam bed, "…the _tension_, the 'what if'…speculation makes for time well spent."

Jane packed the medical supplies away as she listened, unwilling to let the other woman see how very real her confusion was. Better than she remained professional, Jane figured. But then, a _friend_ might be given more leeway in a ship rife with rules and regulations.

"I feel like I've just aged backwards and found myself in high school all over again." Jane confessed at last, deciding 'friend' was probably better than 'professional,' "Is there a senior prom I don't know about?"

"Not quite. But maybe you might be able to get a _dance _out of him if you ask nice." Lorna quipped with a saucy grin before jumping off the bed and making her way to the door, "Just be sure to tell the rest of us when you do. We're _dying _to know."

And then she was gone, hustling down the hallway to get back to work. But no sooner had Lorna disappeared when another, more familiar, figure appeared in her doorway.

"Do I have to treat you for a hangover too?"

He said not a word, but Jane could feel his gaze like a physical touch, on the back of her neck, the curl of her hair at her temples, on her _mouth_.

Doing nothing to invite him in she swallowed back the immediate emotional response to his mere presence. It was a struggle to not look at him, to pretend that she was not painfully aware of how attractive he was, more desirable any man had a right to. Dressed in a dark shirt and well-worn jeans, his hands and towel tucked into his back pocket both dark with grease, he looked every inch the engineer and not the tech they had claimed he was. It seemed he was making friends as well.

"Kaidan."

There is little room in her office, but it seems even smaller when she catches his eye, watches as the darkness flickers in them. He's not the same man she grew up with, and though part of her longs for the man who was both mentor and friend, the woman in her thrills at the uncertainty and danger.

He steps inside with scarcely a sound. And though he manages well enough, there is a flash of pain across his face as he settles himself on the exam table.

It is enough to break the trance, however temporarily.

"Where are you hurt?"

Jane is at his side in an instant, her tone cool, professional. She is a doctor for a reason, and her calling has taught her long ago that personal feelings have no place around the injured.

Examining him anew, she pinpoints the source in a moment, gently pushing him down until she can get at his side. There's a long cut there, along his flank, the result of some unknown task gone wrong. It's not particularly deep, but infection is always a concern.

Clearly ship repair was a more treacherous task than she had originally imagined.

Pulling up Kaidan's shirt just high enough to get at the wound, Jane has it disinfected in seconds, her gloved hands moving efficiently as she applied a skin bonding agent to speed the healing process. It is only then that her hands spread out, gently checking for any further damage as she skims the skin of his back, the curve of his ribs.

Finding nothing else, she helps him sit upright, pulling off her gloves as he tugs the shirt back down over his muscled torso. But before she can leave him entirely, can even dispose of her gloves, his hand shoots out, snagging her and bringing her close.

"I sent the latest message out," his breath is a hot whisper on her ear, on her neck.

And though her face remains a picture of calm, self-possession, there is no helping the way her hands tremble. Her mind in confusion as she struggles between the sensation of _him _and the knowledge he is imparting on her.

But his hands have settled over her own, painting her skin dark with the dirt on his. Marked as his, her mind whispers traitorously, and she cannot help but be aware of her heart as it thunders in her chest, in her ears.

"_Thank you for the update_."

Her voice trembles as she pulls away, trembles in the same way that her hands do. Curling them into fists, Jane tries to steady herself as she heads back to the sink, rinsing her hands and putting on another pair of gloves.

"Before you go, it's probably best that I give you this shot. It'll protect against any infections if you get cut again."

It's easy enough to don the mask of professionalism, not as simple as it has been in the past but Jane secures it firmly over her emotions as she collects the tools she'll need.

Syringe, disinfecting wipes.

He's already pulled the shoulder of his shirt up by the time she turns back to him, a small tray in her hand. And like the well trained doctor she is she works with precision, a modesty of motion.

She wipes the dirt off his arm, off his shoulder and inserts the needle, feeling him flinch ever so slightly. And it's ridiculous that he would react to so small a jab, not when Jane knows how strong he is.

What is a pinprick to a man who had fought in the Reaper War?

"This will help with the pain as well." She explains softly, not quite able to look him in the eye as she steadies his arm, her smaller hand cupping his bicep, unable to get her hand all the way around.

"Janeway?"

His voice is rough as he says her name, but the hand that touches her chin to get her attention is gentle. And as she turns to look down at him, her heart gives another treacherous thump as she looks into the eyes of the man who continues to confuse her.

The hand on her chin eases ever so slightly, as she swallows.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

The syringe gives a beep as finishes dispensing its second dose.


	4. Chocolate Memories of Childhood

AN: Hello all, sorry for the delay - real life caught up with me for a bit, so I apologize for the delay.

A quick note about this chapter, it takes place BEFORE the actual events of the first 3 chapters and serves as a glimpse into the life of Janeway as a child. I wanted to do something a little different :)

Thanks again to all my lovely readers and a special thanks to those of you who have been reviewing as well. It really does mean a lot that I get feedback.

Best wishes to you all,

~Voi

* * *

Jane Irikah Shepard-Vakarian was the youngest daughter of Nora and Garrus Shepard-Vakarian, and by virtue of her youth was the one everyone doted on. The mediator between her hotheaded sister and conversely icy-tempered older brother, Jane was the voice of reason. And in an era of peace she was the one who seemed most capable of embracing the concept without reservation.

So it was with some surprise, and more than a little despair that her biotic abilities manifested themselves with such destruction. Her mother's flower garden and half the fence had been demolished before she had managed to control herself.

Distraught and ashamed, Jane had been so mortified with her newfound ability that despite her parent's very loving assurances to the contrary, she locked herself in her room, terrified of coming out.

"Jane?"

It had been scarcely four days since her daughter's biotic abilities had appeared, but Nora Shepard-Vakarian was not about to wait for matters to get worse. Having managed to procure favors from two very good friends, it was time to ease her daughter's fears long enough to introduce what she hoped would be a long term solution.

Nora blamed herself of course, had known her body had been through a lot, too much maybe, to have a normal, healthy child. But Jane had been something of a dream for her parents, and it had never occurred to them that their otherwise healthy daughter would come with some very serious biotic complications as she matured.

The doctors at the hospital had fitted her daughter with the most advance biotic amp to deal with biotic fluctuations, but _control _was something that had to be learned.

Nora knocked on Jane's door, her heart aching as she opened the door and found her daughter huddled beneath her blankets, her favorite little hanar plush clutched in her arms. Big eyes blinked owlishly as Nora called her daughter again, crossing the room to cuddle the little girl in her arms. And because she had only ever been loved to the fullest, Jane spent several long minutes crying as guilt warred with self-loathing and horror.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Nora hugged her tight, "It's not your fault."

"But your _flowers!" _Hiccupping from the emotional stress, Janeway buried her face into her mother's side.

"They're just plants, sweetheart." A mother of some considerable experience, Nora soothed with soft words and understanding, "Your father and I care more about you than the garden."

"B-but we worked so hard to p-plant them this year!" Jane had always had a talent for logically arguing her point.

"I know, Jane, but it's _you _we care about…" Nora paused to smile at the little tear-stained face, "_More_ than the plants."

"Besides, I've brought someone to help," Nora brushed away the last of the tears, "He's a friend of Mommy and Daddy. You met him when you were a baby, but you might not remember him since he's been busy."

"Where is he?" Turning her head this way and that, Jane frowned when she saw nothing. Looking back up at her mother, she was about to ask again when a figure stepped into the room.

And then there was a man standing in her doorway; taller than her mother, he _looked _like a nice person, but Jane couldn't be sure. Hiding against her mother's side until he was close enough look her in the eye (he was kneeling of course), Jane watched him with her large, unblinking owl eyes,

"Janeway," He held out his hand, his voice light and unthreatening, "Nice to meet you, I'm Kaiden."

"I told Kaiden about your biotics and you know what?" Nora gently nudged her daughter forward, "He told me he has the exact same problems you have."

There is a pause as Kaiden watched the girl absorb the information, watched as her features shifted into a cautious curiosity.

"Really? Like me?"

"Yeah, just like you, sweetheart." His tone but tentative was sincere, "I have to work on it even now."

"But you're an adult…you need help too?" Not quite understanding, Jane peered up at her mother who merely nodded in encouragement.

"We all need help at some point or another, Janeway." It was the truth, Kaiden and Nora knew from experience, "Even adults…_especially _adults."

"Promise?" Jane took a step closer to Kaiden as she spoke, her expression serious as she lifted her hanar plush until it was level with Kaiden's face, "Blasto can tell if you're lying."

"I bet he can, so what does Blasto say?" Kaiden indulged her and watched as her face revealed her thought process, watched as she formed her own opinion of him and his offer.

The relief on her face when she finally came to accept his help was mirrored in Kaiden's mirrored grin. And the rest of the day is spent getting to know one another and the shared biotic ability between them.

Kaiden's lessons with Jane were a teacher's dream. Energetic and bright, just like her mother Jane excelled in biotic manipulation as it worked on her own body. And though there were challenges to be had, Janeway remained a steadfast and intelligent pupil.

"Alright, Janeway, just as we practiced." Kaiden was a teacher of infinite patience, "Gather the energy in your fingertips until you can work it into a little ball."

Sitting in the sand as the waves crashed off the coast, the two of them waited in silence as Jane drew the energy. Slowly, so slowly, she focused on her fingers until they tingled. And when at last the telltale purple-blue glow of biotics began to suffuse her hand, she forgot everything but those few glittering sparks of power.

"Easy there, kiddo, no need to rush it." Kaiden's voice sounded far away, but Janeway did her best to listen, "Take your time."

Breathing slowly, she blinked several times before she started to mentally pull the small fragments together. Across her skin, the sparks drew together like water droplets, merging together in the well of her palm.

Another breath and the collection solidified into an orb, and though it was exhausting, Jane held it there for a moment longer before letting the power go. Fizzling, it quickly disappeared after she released her mental grasp, but there was no missing the elation of a challenge met.

"Great job, Janeway!" Kaiden grinned at her and ruffled her hair, watching the now familiar sunny smile on her face brighten her expression. And because weeks of training had been more than enough to bend the gentle man to her will, Janeway was rewarded for her hard work.

"Here's your chocolate, as promised. You earned it, kiddo."

Jane and Kaiden worked together for the better part of two more months before he had to leave, promising to be back by the following holiday. And in his absence Nora found another tutor for her daughter, this time in the temperamental but very talented Jack. Despite her deep love for Aunts Liara and Rayna, it was _Auntie Jack _who was Jane's favorite.

"Auntie Jack! You're actually here!"

"Hey there squirt," The short biotic gave the girl a friendly shove, "What's up with your biotics?"

"They were causing problems, but I've been getting better."

"Yeah, your mom said as much. Though it sounds like boy-scout has been spoiling you."

Jane didn't have to ask who 'boy scout' was. Auntie Jack had always called Kaiden by that name, though she had never actually seen him 'scout' anything.

"Kaiden gave me chocolate when we finished." Jane offered as way of answer, "It was yummy!"

"Yeah well, boy scout spoils you too much."

Jane smiled sunnily up at her aunt as she kept pace with her teacher, "Maybe…because I'm his favorite student!"

"You're his _only _student, squirt." Jack reminded the girl, as they walked towards the beach, "I have more than just you to look after."

"But I'm _your _favorite too, aren't I?" Trotting behind her aunt, Janeway stopped suddenly as the idea dawned on her, "Aren't I?!"

When Jack responded with a non-committal half-snort, Jane asked the question again, though this time with greater urgency.

"Aren't I your favorite, Auntie Jack?!"

There was a large grin on her lips, a smirk, but Jack refused to respond. Jane spent the rest of their time together to prove she was worthy of being Auntie Jack's 'favorite.' And in the end, after several more weeks of hard work and practice she had her answer.

Twenty years later, Jane found a small candy bar waiting for her on her desk. Having spent the entirety of the day working on updating medical logs in the new Alliance school for biotics, there was only one other person who had access to this room. And as she plucked the little chocolate from its foil casing, Jane couldn't help but smile.

Some things never changed.


	5. Cold Hard Truth

It's hard, sometimes, to remember she's no longer a child.

At least, when he is alone he thinks of Jane the little girl, the one who needs to be taught the proper way to gather biotics in her hands and use it to create little distortions in the air.

He doesn't like to think about Janeway the woman, the adult.

The reminder of the past is not something he enjoys dwelling on, his past mistakes a testament to the man he is now.

Every time he looks at her he sees the mistake he made, with her as the victim; not that she considers it such. Indeed, she seems more comfortable with the situation despite her unwillingness to talk about it. And again the fault is his own.

But right now, as he catches her chatting with Lorna and Caine, maybe he can prevent _her _from making a spectacular mistake as well. He makes his move when at last they leave.

"Janeway," he closes the door behind him to ensure their privacy, important now more than ever because their mission is quickly drawing to a close.

"What is it, Kaiden?"

She's busy, the way she always is whenever he's around. He's not entirely sure if keeping her hands full of work is her way of dealing with stress or if the demands of her job really are that high. Maybe it's a bit of both.

"I want to you to remember that they're not your friends."

He doesn't have to elaborate as to who 'they' are, doesn't even have to tilt his head in the direction of hall that Caine and Lorna just disappeared down. But he does anyway, because he needs to make this message hit home, make sense to her so they don't get in the worst sort of trouble.

"I know they're not my friends." She glances up at him but doesn't quite make eye contact, "They're tools, a means to an end."

"You're saying the right words, but you don't believe it." He can tell from the way she fidgets, from the way she avoids looking at him.

"Janeway."

She works for several more moments without paying attention to him, hands placing tools in their appropriate drawers, disposing of soiled gauze.

"You need to be able to walk away." He says softly, knowing the words are not kinds ones, ones she's used to when her role as doctor has always meant she stay and try to save those she can.

She still refuses to look at him, but he catches the conflict in her eyes, creased in her brow, "You need to look at them and see people who cannot be trusted, more targets than friends."

"That's too cold." She looks half stricken as she replies, pale beneath the harsh white-blue lights of the room, "How does that make us any different than killers?"

"We _are _Killers, Janeway. We just get paid for it and have a fancy job title attached. You need to understand that, respect it. It's _not _an easy thing to do, but you need to do it _now _before this gets out of hand."

She never bothered replying, just froze him with a look and left him in silence.


	6. Conversational Differences

It was time to leave the ship. The mission was nearly over, the intelligence gathered and as far as Kaiden knew, that was all there was to the mission.

But leaving meant disabling the vessel and signaling for Alliance to make it's pick up. Neither Janeway nor Kaiden were equipped with the firepower to take on a ship full of rebels, but their last objective was to stall it however possible.

Explosives had been the easiest course of action. And while it had taken several days to obtain them Jane had prepped them for detonation within 24 hours. All that was left was to clear out.

"Hey…you got a minute?"

An hour more and they would be off this ship; Jane glanced at the clock in her office as she continued to pack her things. One hour to get everything ready, everything safe.

"You have something to say?"

Her tone was hardly kind, perhaps closer to frigid. Scarcely a month had passed since he had cornered her and reminded her that despite appearances, the people around them were the enemy. The realization of her own weakness had been a cold comfort, shameful even, and she had not quite managed to erase it from her mind.

And though she was often level headed enough to be courteous, this time there was no mistaking the snap of temper.

"Yes?"

There was no missing the hesitation, the intensity of his eyes and tension in his shoulders that had the muscles bunching as he keyed in the number that closed the door.

"I was wondering if we could talk about what happened last time we saw each other."

"What about it?"

She didn't bother to stop working. Kaiden might have his few belongings packed, but there were supplies from her office that she could use, that _they _could use. But it was more than just that; she didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, not ever.

Mentioning it in passing, as a means to play this game on the ship was one thing. But the reality of it, the _truth _of it was not something she wanted to deal with. Ever.

"You… remember it, don't you?"

She hated it when he played coy, as if he didn't know any better. It drove her mad. He was old enough to know better, man enough to know danger when it looked up at him.

"Cut to the chase, Kaiden."

Stamping down on the scowl that threatened Jane looked at the man framed by the doorway. Though Kaiden had been responsible for a vast majority of her biotic training as a child, he had by no means been the only tutor. Aunt Jack had been more than happy to supply her 'niece's' budding talent with equal amounts training in biotic ability and attitude.

"It meant something to you, didn't it?" His voice drifted closer as he took a seat at her desk, "And I hurt you when I asked you to forget it had ever happened."

"Getting shot hurts, Kaiden. What you asked was nothing like that."

"No?" He watched her as she continued her work, "Maybe I was wrong, you stand there so calmly as we talk about it and I still can barely wrap my head around it."

"You got your mind wrapped around the fact that my mother was killed and brought back to life." Tightening her hands on her arms, Jane struggled not to snap at him, "What's one night in bed together compared to the Lazarus Project?"

"That isn't what I meant." Kaiden shook his head, "Look, I'm trying to…apologize here."

"Apologize for what?" Jane responded stubbornly, her expression sardonic, "The night that never happened?"

"Damn it, Janeway. We both haven't forgotten a thing, so don't try and deny it now."

"You were the one who didn't want to speak about it, to pretend it had never happened," Jane scowled, "Don't get angry that I've managed to do it better than you. We might have spent that night together but you made it clear that it was _nothing_."

Not trusting herself to remain calm, Jane crossed the room, towards the door.

"I'm _trying _to apologize. Why won't you let me?" Kaiden asked his expression twisting; "I was just as shaken up about it as you were. Worse maybe because you were still, in some ways, a kid and I should have known better.

"Yes, we both know how much you regretted it; you made it _very _clear at the time."

There's no hiding the anger or pain in Jane's voice and her accusation that does little to disguise the hurt that seems to well so readily from this wound.

"Janeway-"

"I wasn't a child then, and I'm certainly not one now." She looked him in the eye for one timeless moment, braced as she was, there was no denying her words. "I never needed an apology, Kaiden, because I was never going to apologize to you. And while you might not like it, this is all the explanation I'm offering."

"Jane, please-"

"I need to get going," she doesn't let him finish, can't stomach the look in his eyes, "I've already set the charges to explode so I'll see you at the Pods in fifteen."

And because she can't listen to one more word, she left, taking the small backpack from the floor, leaving him to carry the last of their supplies.

The conversation would have to wait just a bit longer. They had a mission to complete.

Beep.

The explosives waited for that final number, the end to the countdown.

Beep.

Five, four, three…the minutes felt like an eternity.

And because she knew Kaiden would be at the pods by now, Jane felt for the detonator in her pocket, eyeing the ship schematics to give him that extra heartbeat of time. Nearly four months of work would come to a close with a single push of a button, with an explosion that would rock the entire ship. She had told him _that _part of the mission.

But the real target, the person who _had _to die was still waiting for her.

And as the sprinklers came on, fighting the fire that consumed the better part of the navigation deck, Jane couldn't help but smile grimly as the alarms wailed overhead.

Their conversation would have to wait, but the mission could not.

It was time to find _The Lady_.


	7. Portrait of a Man

AN: So after a long bit of time I've decided to let this fic go. I don't like doing it, and goodness knows I could have/should have planned better but I did want to post a final chapter as a thank you to all of you who took the time to give this a look. I am so sorry I could not finish it, but hope you understand.

If anyone ever wants to pick up this story and run with it on their own, by all means go ahead - but at least for now this story will remain as it is.

I hope you enjoy, I really did enjoy writing this chapter though it was also bittersweet.

Thanks again,

~Voi

* * *

A portrait of any man is made of many things; more than the way he looks, the ridge of his nose or the set of his lips, it is the nuance of his personality that speaks the loudest. And as had been historically said, 'actions speak louder than words.'

Kaiden knows this better than most and as he sits in the cell awaiting the torture that is sure to follow he can't help but wonder what sort of man history will paint him as.

Despite the difficulties of his childhood, his irreverent attitude towards his parents as a boy, the nightmare that was Jump Zero; his actions during the Reaper War had made him a very different man, a _respectable _man. There was acceptance when he looked at the man in the mirror, a sense of pride in what he had been able to achieve.

But where the war fostered in him the drive to do the right thing, to overcome great difficulty to do not only what was needed but to do what was _just, _the past five years have severely tested him. And it has become increasingly hard to look at the mirror, look _himself_ in the eye and not recall how many times in the recent past he has made the decision to do what was _necessary _rather than what was just.

Killing has become easier than it ever really should be, and rather than compassion there lingers instead the cold emptiness of a man who no longer understands the gift of life. A man broken by one too many failures, it confused him when the once acceptable numbness is no longer a sufficient source of energy to keep going.

Daily lifeno longer held the sweet rush of satisfaction that it once had. And the realization made him increasingly anxious, half mad until he had returned anew to the Alliance. Throwing himself into increasingly more perilous missions, it was only then that he managed to grasp it, to feel _some_ rush of what it meant to feel alive.

The harder the mission the better, and with every step deeper into the underworld of the galaxy the more he familiarized himself with the boy he had been, the trouble youth who had survived those darkest moments of childhood.

Leaning his head against the dank cell wall, Kaiden closes his eyes and remembers back when, in London, he told Shepard how he had surprised himself, to have changed so much from that 'messed up kid' that he had been. He doesn't know if that observation holds true anymore, and the thought keeps him up all night, more terrifying than any death or mission.

Because he _remembers _that boy, knows how that boy could have grown up, what sort of _man _that boy could have become. It keeps him up, wanting to know if he _is _that man now, or at the very least getting dangerously close. The kind of man who could kill without remorse, Kaiden can't help but wonder if perhaps he has crossed that line in the sand.

He jerks awake with the first of her screams. Full bodied and filled with the energy to live in his memory forever, her voice pierces the noise of the ship, rockets to the forefront of his attention.

She is screaming_._

They had begun their interrogation yesterday, their _torture _yesterday, but it is only now, nearly a full day later that they've managed to get a sound out of her. Janeway Shepard-Vakarian is finally, _finally_, screaming and the realization makes him jerk against the chains that bind his arms behind his back.

She is _screaming_ and his mind is quick to supply all multitudes of reasons, each more gut-wrenching than the next, each more heinous. And though they've drugged him, dosed him with _something _to block his biotics, there is no blocking the way the rage suffuses him with energy, with a purpose to break through the chains that still _dare_ to hold him.

Because she is _screaming_, and his mind is filled with images of Jane as both child and woman, with images of a peace broken by violence. The desire to protect so strong it floods his system with adrenaline and eventually biotic strength.

By the time he realizes that his bindings no longer an issue he has already torn through the door with a biotic explosion that has his muscles vibrating from the strength of energy coursing through him. Gripped entirely by the need to find her, he follows the sounds of her distress, only vaguely aware of the resistance he meets, finding his sudden influx of biotic power more than enough to disarm several guards and relieve them of their weapons.

The closer he gets the more he realizes how loudly she must be screaming.

It makes the blood pound ever faster, hotter as anger tempers his biotic abilities.

But then she stops; the _screaming _stops suddenly, without warning, and the ensuing silence is hauntingly worse for it.

"_Janeway!"_

He is in the room not a moment later, and though he can barely hear anything over the sound his heart pounding in his ears, the world is thrown into sharp relief, so that every single detail is rendered with crystalline clarity.

There are two men and _Lady_, the leader, standing around and in the middle, half covered in blood is Janeway. She hangs in the center of the room by her wrists, blood dripping from where the chains have cut deep,

Kaiden doesn't remember making the shift from desperately angry to the all-consuming rage that explodes with enough force to draw out every ounce of biotic power he has to give. But by the time the red haze has lifted from his eyes, there is enough red to stain every wall in the room. All red save for Janeway, who hangs there trembling.

He's undone when she calls to him softly, begging him to find safety. It's unlikely she's aware of how much damage had been done to her, but he can see it with painful ease, and there is no way he will leave her.

"I'm here sweetheart." He's whispering the words into her hair as he forces the chains to release, taking her small body into his arms. She is shuddering violently by the time he is able to set her on the ground, fingers gently wiping the blood from her pale features.

Fumbling for the medpack he had ripped off another soldier, he manages to bandage her wrists before turning to look at the head wound that still bleeds freely despite the injection he's given.

He swears viciously when he finally sees, _understands, _what made her scream as loudly as she had.

Her biotic amp is exposed to the air, the skin of her neck and behind her ear cut back in what was clearly a fumbling attempt to try and remove it from its conduit. The idea almost makes him physically sick, and he gently traces a finger over the exposed circuits to try and reassure himself that the piece is still intact. But while the piece itself seems only marginally scratched, the attack has left it very clearly out of place.

Jane whimpers when he pushes her amp back to where it belongs, thrashes a little as the piece makes that final 'click' to acknowledge that it's slid properly into place.

"It's ok, I got you." He takes a quick check of her pulse, finding it steady despite the stresses of the reinsertion. She's still only half-conscious, but thankfully her body seems otherwise whole.

And because there is no longer any reason to stay aboard, they have all the information they need and the Alliance should be closing in on the ship's position within the next day, Kaiden knows they have no choice. They have to leave.

How he gets her to the escape pods is a confusing mess of tunnels and the desperate need to get this woman out of harm's way, to keep her safe. Emotion running high, it is only when he gently maneuvers her into one of the seats and buckles her in that he feels any semblance of accomplishment.

How ironic that he was able to so easily get her in a pod when his failure years ago had resulted in her mother's death. Perhaps everyone is entitled to a second chance.

He slams the eject button on the pod and finds them hurled through space, their future, _her _future, in his hands.

* * *

Thanks for reading.


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